Chanakya Niti: five things to keep in mind when visiting relatives

Closeness in relationships matters, but so does being mindful of the other person's limits and convenience. We sometimes say things that seem ordinary to us but can hurt the other person. Chanakya Niti says that the way we behave as guests at a relative's house reveals our true character. Acharya Chanakya spoke of many important things about human behaviour, speech and social relationships. Here are the mistakes to avoid when visiting relatives.

The first and most important thing is to avoid turning up at someone's house suddenly, without informing them beforehand. This can create an awkward situation, because the other person may not be free to meet you at that moment. They may have urgent work or some difficulty at home. It is better to call or message before setting out, so the other person can decide a time that suits them for your visit.

The second thing is to avoid poking your nose into a household's personal matters. Being a relative does not mean you must offer an opinion on every decision in that house. Avoid commenting, unasked, on children's education, a husband and wife's relationship, expenses or household arrangements. Sometimes the advice may even be correct, but the timing and manner of giving it can be wrong. It is wiser to share your view calmly only when the other person asks for it.

The third thing is to avoid going empty-handed. There is no need to carry an expensive gift when visiting. Fruit, sweets, chocolates for the children or a small item from home, within one's means, is enough. The price of the item does not matter as much as the affection and respect behind it. Such small gestures make the visit memorable.

The fourth thing is not to stay too long at a relative's house. Spending some time with relatives feels good, but guests should keep in mind that hosts have their own routine. Everyone enjoys spending time together at first, but staying too long can disrupt their routine. So it is best to stay only as long as needed.

The fifth and last thing is to stay away from rumours and double standards. Sitting at a relative's house and speaking ill of other relatives can be the biggest mistake. You may be talking about someone today, but tomorrow that person may worry that your words will reach others too. Likewise, needlessly showing off one's income, wealth or expensive belongings does not create a good impression. It is best to be open-hearted, speak with warmth and keep the conversation positive.